You just never know what a day will bring. Although I was tired when I went to bed on Sunday (It was, after all, Sunday!), I felt pretty good. Overnight, however, I developed a massive headache. The end result was that I didn’t sleep well at all. I finally got up about 5AM and went downstairs to try “my chair” in the living room, to see if that helped any. The answer? Nope!
So, I spent Memorial Day morning sitting like a vegetable, trying not to move much. I made my head worse. Then, about lunchtime, I announced that I was going to bed. I simply didn’t want to eat lunch. I have shared in this space before that I OFTEN sleep in a lift chair. I have for several months now. But laying my head against the head rest when the chair was reclined seemed to make everything worse, so I decide to try the bed again instead. I hadn’t been in a bed at all since late March- our trip to Chicago. Other than that, it had been SEVERAL months.
I found that, if I laid on my back in the bed, I had the same problem as I did in the chair- it put pressure on my head and maade my headache worse. But if I rolled over on my side, something that is relatively hard to do in a lift chair, it didn’t seem to make anything worse. So, I rolled over, went to sleep aand didn’t wake up for about 3½ hours.
When I got up, it took a few minutes to wake up enough to assess how I was feeling. I decided that, even though I felt better than I had before I went to bed, the headache was not gone. Shoot! But, over the next 15-20 minutes, the headache seems to life and, for the first time all day, I was feeling better. Huzzah!
So, was the headache chemo- or cancer-related? Quien sabe. I have found that it is easy to blame EVERYTHING on the cancer and/or the chemo. But the truth of the matter is that really is NO way to know. It’s not like normally, healthy, cancer-free folk don’t have headaches.
It is funny, however, that I tend to assume the chemo caused whatever I might be feeling. Headache? Chemo. Runny nose? Chemo. Cough? Chemo. And that’s one of the biggest “side effects” of chemo, I think. Before I started chemo, if I had any of those happen, I would say, “Meh- these things just happen.” Now, I automatically say, ”The chemo makes my nose run/gave me a headache/etc.”. does it cause all of that? Probably not. We all know that sometimes those things DO just happen.
We continue to adjust. We try not to overthink everything, but instead take things as they come- day by day, hour by hour, sometimes minute by minute. There is a consant “new norm” and some days the best you can do is hang on and ride the wave!
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